Mommy wow, I'm a big kid now!

First of all, what's not to love about this picture?! Little B and his friend, I, are pretty hysterical together. I calls little B his brother and tells his mom that he needs to go see his brother whenever he wants to come play. Today was one of those glorious days that they were able to play together. We were sitting on the living room floor and he asked little B and I if we ever watch Scooby-Doo.  He said that he watches them and really likes them because they're super funny. Little B sat there very thoughtfully for a few seconds and then said,"When I was a kid I watched them too and liked them." Yeah, because he's 40 and not 4. Anyway, we talked for a few more minutes about falling out of trucks at our grandma's houses, landing on our faces and crying because it hurts a lot. They ran off to play and I started cleaning something in the kitchen. As I listened to them play I was thinking about when I was little and my older siblings would have friends over to play. I wanted to play with them too and would follow them around the house. Of course my sister's didn't love me hanging around and I would hear,"Stop following us!" I would often wonder how my mom didn't stop what she was doing and follow them around too. I really thought that she must have had so much self control to just leave them alone. I couldn't imagine not wanting to hang out with my older and much cooler sister's and their friends. I made a BIG discovery today as I stood in the kitchen. I had zero desire to follow these two little fellas around. My mom must not have needed to use any self control. The thought of following M or K and their friends around does not sound fun to me. I am so so happy to report that although I may not have graduated from wearing a training bra yet, I am big enough that following people and their friends around our house doesn't sound as fun as it used to.

Let's hit the slopes

I know, I know, I'm way behind on this here blog. The thing is, I would waaaaay rather read my book than update the blog. But, my life is run by guilt and I feel guilty that it's been so long. This here skiing adventure actually took place the first week in March but, we still talk about it fairly often. When grandma B came up for A's blessing, she stayed for the week. B saw it as a perfect opportunity to take the offspring skiing. M and K are pretty good and don't really need a lot of help, but they can't go off by themselves. Little B was still learning and so he needed someone to help him. B didn't feel like he could take all three alone. Grandma happily came to the rescue. I don't ski, unless you call careening down the mountain side whilst yelling for everyone to move out of your way and taking out a skiing instructor helping a very small child, skiing. It's in everyone's best interest that I stay home and take care of the baby.

This was how all three of the littles felt about going skiing. Not only did they get to miss school, they also got to ride in the truck! B LOVES his truck and doesn't like to drive it a lot because it might get dirty. True statement. I used to only compete with BYU football but, the truck moved in and I have fallen in ranking yet again. 😊 The skis had to get to the mountain somehow so the truck came out of hiding and they got to ride in it. Best. Day. Ever!

We spent so much time the night before making sure that the kiddos had everything they would need. B says that skiing when you're cold is the worst so we sent more clothing than they needed knowing that they could take it off if they got too warm. They got there and started getting all their stuff on and that's when B realized that he had forgotten his ski pants. Oops! Thankfully it was warm enough that his sexy tights and shorts were good enough. 

We have the best grandma in the world. She hurt her knees a few weeks before she came to our house and even though they were still hurting her, she went skiing. The kids loved being able to spend so much time with her.

As they were eating lunch, M couldn't find her turkey that she had packed for her lunch. She eats the bread plain and then the turkey because she's weird. Well, she ate her bread but couldn't find her turkey. When she saw the picture and noticed the turkey on her shoe, she laughed pretty hard. She may or may not have picked it off her shoe and eaten it. 

I am so proud of these little people. They all love to ski and that makes B's heart almost burst with happiness. M and K are getting really good and are excited about skiing on the big hills at Snowbird and little B likes to tell anyone that'll listen that he can ski.

Boys

Look at this face.

He's pretty cute right? Thanks! I think so too. Well, yesterday I was going to look at something on the iPad just real quick like. I pushed the button at the bottom and the color was all wonky. Now, I am not ashamed to say that I have no clue about most technology. I don't know how to do very much on these newfangled contraptions. I knew by looking at the iPad that the color was off so I went to the settings thing and looked for color fix-it option. It wasn't on the list in settings. I sat there totally stumped as how to fix it. I looked up and saw little B playing with some cars on the hot chocolate table. Two things: first, I know you were shocked to read that one of our boys was playing with cars. They just love them! Truthfully this one doesn't love them as much as K loves them but he still likes them. Next, we have called it a hot chocolate table for so long, like since B and I got one right after we got married, that I forget that the rest of the world calls it a coffee table. We call it a hot chocolate table because we drink hot chocolate, not coffee. Anyway, so little B was playing with cars and I asked him if he knew how to fix the color on the iPad. He stood up, walked over to me and and said, "yeah, you just push this button three times." I pushed the button three times with no result. He took the iPad from me and said,"here, let me do it." He did it and it magically fixed the color. He handed it back to me and said,"there you go mommy!" I sat there in stunned silence. It's crazy that I knew he would know how to fix it and that he carried out the instructions after I didn't do it right. It's just the time he lives in right?

  The other month really we were all sitting around on a Sunday afternoon and B asked M and K if they could go anywhere in the world, where would they go. M didn't even hesitate,"Paris, London, Hawaii, Greenland, Iceland, China Antarctica, Africa." Once she stopped to take a breath  I told her she better marry someone rich so that they can travel the world together. K said, "Hawaii so I can go swimming." We told him there were a lot of places a lot closer than Hawaii where he could go swimming. He said he knew that but, wanted to swim in Hawaii. Then he said that he wanted to go to China. M got all Huffy and said,"You only said China because I said China." Of course he denied it so B asked him why he wanted to go to China. K sighed a mighty sigh, like he was trying to explain something so simple to complete idiots,  and put his head in his hand. When he looked up at us he said,"because, I want to learn Spanish!" Because that makes perfect sense. B and I about died laughing! Oh how I love our kids and their brains and the funny things they say!

Blessing day

 This little lady got blessed a few weeks ago. I love that we live closer to family, however, I hate that we're still far enough away that coming to our house can't be a weekend vacation. The only people that were able to come to her blessing were our mom's. Having them come was awesome but my heart was sad that there were no brothers or brothers-in-law to stand in the circle. Not saying that I want a huge circle, I don't. But I love when family is able to come for any reason really but, especially things like blessings. Annnnyway, the blessing was so so good! Some of the things B told her in her blessing were that she has been blessed with a strong, loving personality, even before she was born and that will continue throughout her life. He also told her that there are loved ones beyond the veil that love her and are cheering her on. He said that as she stays close to the Savior that she will be able to recognize the temptations of Satan and be able to overcome them. I love baby blessings! I think they are so special. As B was finishing the blessing I wondered if my dad was there. Almost as soon as I thought it, I felt him so strongly. B told me later that he felt his dad and his younger brother there too. I love that first of all we have the knowledge that death is not the end, and that even though people  beyond the veil are so busy, they still come around. I am missing my dad a lot today. I love knowing that he came to her blessing and that he is still aware of what is going on in our lives.

We had to take a picture of A with my mom. My mom is so talented and she made her blessing dress. My little sister had a baby in December and my mom made her baby a matching blessing dress. I told her that she should sell them on Etsy. A lady in our ward stopped us to look at the dress and agreed that she should sell them. I love that it's so simple. I am not one for frills and lace and so this dress was perfect. To quote my beautiful sister in law, "I can't believe she was conceived, it's inconceivable!" We concur completely, she is our miracle baby and we all love her and are so thankful that she came to our family.

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Nothing to report

I think about this here blog a lot. I say to myself, "self, you should update the blog." Then I remember that I don't have anything to report. My life is pretty dull and I'm lazy; so lazy that the thought of updating the blog seems like too much work; so I just keep reading my book. Ah, books! How I love them! I don't remember when I started to like to read. I do know that I wouldn't admit to liking it because it was such a nerdy thing to do. Not that I was cool, far from it actually so I don't know really why I didn't just own it. But, my childish ways are behind me and I can say out loud that I do in fact love to read. The perk of having an infant that needs to eat pretty often is that I get to read during the day, guilt free because I read whilst I feel her. I just finished the Lunar Chronicles that my niece, J, recommended to me. Oh. My. Word! They were so so good. They sucked me in and I would be lying if I said that there wasn't a feeding session or two or a lot where the poor little baby was just sucking air from her bottle because the milk was gone; for how long only heaven knows. But, I was so drawn into the book that I didn't notice the milk was gone. I told B when I finished them that I have a problem because I feel like I became a part of the books and the characters are my friends so now that the books are over, I miss my new friends. I know, I have problems and should probably seek counseling. But, the characters are so likable, except for the ca-razy queen. She's just plain psychotic. I loved all four books and wish there was more to read. Aaaanyway, let's see here. What is there to talk about?

 This young lass turned 11. 11! How did that happen? The saying that days and weeks are long but the years fly by is so true. She doesn't want dolls and dress-ups anymore. Now she wants makeup and hair chalk. She wants to be with her friends as often as she can and when they aren't together, she wants to be on the phone with them. I love to watch her grow up but, at the same time it makes my heart so sad. Let's not talk about it, it makes me cry.

This little lady is six weeks old. B doesn't love this picture, but I love that she's awake and just hanging out. A lady in our ward is trying to teach herself how to take pictures of babies and wanted to practice with her. She didn't want any money, just to use our baby. I thought it was a great trade off. Truthfully we got the better end of the deal. We got to keep the pictures and the baby. She's still tiny. She's still in newborn diapers and clothes. 0-3 month size clothes are way too big for her. She smiles a lot, especially when she's sleeping. We all love having her around.

 Here, let me give you some picture proof.

 He was watching her as she slept. When she started to wake up he got all excited and yelled,"She's waking up! I can see her eyes!" 

One day he said,"Oh she's so cute! Her face is so cute! Her eyes are so cute, they are the cutest part of her face."

I had laid her down on her tummy and gone to do dishes or something and when I turned around, they had all gathered around her. It's safe to say that we all love this little one.

What else, what else? Oh! We must have lived here about two years. I'm getting the itch to move. Ever since we left Utah, we've only stayed in one place for two years or a little longer. I saw a picture of New Zealand and toyed with the idea of living over seas. New Zealand looked beautiful and I love the way people talk there. The same week I was thinking of New Zealand I had a group text conversation with my sisters. I. Love. My. Sisters! They are so funny! I love that we can and do talk about everything.We talk about kids and life and weird things that our mom does that we do too. We talk about hiding food from husbands and kids. Which I think is kind of weird, but, if you don't want to share then hide it in an empty tampon box. No one looks in there. We decided that hiding food in ones bra whilst it's on isn't a great hiding spot. We also talk about things I would only talk to a sister about. Nothing too serious, I was still laughing so hard that the other parents at K's basketball practice distanced themselves. After talking with them and laughing so hard I was crying, I threw New Zealand out the window. I need my sisters and I need to live close to them. That's all really. 

I don't have anything else to say. I kind of feel like I'm coming to the end of a phone conversation where neither person has anything else to add and there's that awkward pause because neither of you know how to get off the phone. So, I'm going to hypothetically get off the phone like I do with my siblings. Make it short and sweet and don't give them time to answer when you say,"K, love ya. bye." 

She's here!

I'm not gonna lie, not being pregnant is a wonderful, wonderful thing. I know that there are so many women/families that can't have babies or can't have babies when they want them. My heart truly breaks for them. I feel like that is one of the many injustices in life. However, I am not one of the lucky women that sail through pregnancy. I don't enjoy anything about it and to say that I am so thankful it's over for me would be a gross understatement. M is the only one of our babies that came on her own, that's why she's our favorite. Truthfully, we tell all of our children they're our favorite for one reason or another. M's our favorite because she came 10 days early. K's our favorite because he's so sweet and very empathetic. Little B's our favorite because he was the easiest baby and a champion sleeper. Anyway, since our most recent wasn't coming on her own even though I tried to make her come by doing things like shoveling the driveway, or hacking away at the ice that had formed at the end of our driveway with a shovel. But, to no avail, she was content to stay right where she was. My Dr. took pity on me and induced me. I had to be at the hospital at 6:00 a.m. I was hopeful that the Dr would come in on his rounds at 7:00 and break my water. I knew that as soon as my water was broken that things would happen really fast. But, the Dr came and went and didn't break my water. That did not fill me with warm fuzzies and feelings of gratitude for said Dr. So, instead of having a baby by 8:00 in the morning, I laid in a hospital bed waiting for the Dr to come back on his lunch and break my water. I told B as we were waiting that I should have brought my own crochet needle and broken my own water. The annoying nurse kept coming in and telling me to get up and walk around because walking would help move things along. Truly I wanted to punch her in the face. I wanted to tell her that I didn't want to walk around, that I wanted an epidural and wanted my water to be broken and to have a baby so I didn't have to be heavy with child any more. But, I controlled myself and didn't punch her in the face. Instead I got up and walked around. As you can imagine, walking in circles in a hospital room gets old pretty fast. But, walk in circles for hours is what I did. The Dr. came back on his lunch break and broke my water. I am so happy that I had an anesthesia provider hanging out with me in the room. As soon as the Dr left the room B was all ready to stab me in the back 😀.

 I truly loved that he was able to do my epidural. He did an amazing job! My only complaint was that his hands were freezing! The nurse was weird and was hesitant to take the picture because of stupid HIPPA. But we promised her that we wouldn't sew her or the hospital and so she agreed to do it. She told us that we can't put it on social media because it would get her in trouble. A blog doesn't count as social media right? Aaanyway, the Dr. broke my water at 1:15. B was done with the epidural by 1:30, I was complete and pushing by 2:20 and she was born at 2:36. I tell ya,this body was made to shoot humans out of it's who ha ha!

She was 6 pounds 4 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long. Right before she was born the nurse asked me if I wanted to do skin to skin once she was out. I am a horrible mother and I didn't even hesitate before I said,"As long as she's cleaned off. That's disgusting if she's not." The nurse looked at me like I had offended her and all her ancestors. She said that some people really like it. I told her that's fine, but I am not one of those people and I want to hold our baby once she's clean.

We lay our kids next to a stuffed animal and take a picture. We take a new picture of them once a month and then give them the stuffed animal on their first birthday. We should have taken her out of the blanket. She's so tiny but you can't tell because of the bulkiness of the blanket.

On our kids birthdays, we put a happy birthday sign above their bedroom door. We didn't want her to feel left out, so we made a tiny happy birthday sign for her to lay under.

 Our kids were so excited to meet her! When they walked in and saw her, little B came over to her and in a really high pitched voice said,"OHHHHH! She's so tiny! Look at her toes, they are so tiny!" All of us are so happy that she's here. She's a really good baby and only cries if she's hungry or poopy. I feel like we've all adjusted really well to having her around and we all look forward to longer stretches of sleep at night because truthfully, I take being woken up at night as a personal attack and I don't love it that's for dang sure!

It really happened

My dad died last week. My dad, died last week. What a horrible sentence. I still have moments where I don't believe that it happened. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer back in 2005. He had a pretty good handle on it until the cancer metastasized to his bones. A tender mercy that I received is that we lived out of state. I didn't watch him get worse and worse. The memories that I have of him are when he could still walk and talk and be himself. When I think of my dad the first thing that comes to mind is missionary work. He loves the gospel and loves to share it with people. My younger brother works for Delta and so my parents were able to fly all over the world. My dad always took pass along cards or the Book of Mormon with him to give to people. In his mind there was no such thing as a language barrier. He would talk to people in English no matter what language they spoke and I don't think it ever crossed his mind that there would be a chance that they wouldn't have a clue what he was saying. He didn't care if the person he wanted to give a copy of the Book of Mormon to was a very heavily armed Israeli soldier or someone on a subway. He just loved the gospel and knew the power it has to change lives. He also loves his family. I remember the first time I saw true fear in his eyes. He worked on a church welfare farm and once in awhile he would let me go with him to the farm. He had an old truck that he used on the farm. It smelled like hay and dust and the fabric on the seats was kind of itchy, but I loved that white truck! I think I was about four and I was with him on the farm. I told him that I needed to go potty so he took me to the office and told me that he would be down loading feed into the trucks so we could go feed the cows. I told him ok and he left. I used the bathroom and walked down to where I knew he loaded the big truck with the feed. He wasn't there. Instead of looking for him I decided that I would just walk home. I don't really know how long the walk from the farm to our house was but I want to guess that it was about half a mile. I walked down the long gravel road that lead from the farm to the main road, turned left and started walking. I remember being small enough that when a normal sized truck passed me, my head was shorter than the middle of the truck door. I had made it to the corner that was just down the road from our house when a car stopped and asked if I wanted a ride. I said sure and climbed onto the lady's lap. I remember her being a grandma but to a four year old, everyone is a grandma. They asked where I lived and I told them it was the red brick house on the corner. They drove me home and dropped me off. I was playing with a barbie on the kitchen floor a little while later when my dad burst through the door and sprinted up the stairs. As he rounded the corner into the kitchen he yelled, "Is Trudy here?!" I looked up at him as he came into the kitchen and said yes. I will never ever forget the look in his eyes as he scooped me up into a hug. It was true fear. He set me down and told me that he didn't know where I had gone and he had been really scared. I told him that I couldn't find him and so I walked home. He made sure I was ok and then left, still a little rattled, to go back to the farm. Of course being so little I didn't understand the fear he must have felt. Now that I have kids and there have been moments in all three of their lives that I couldn't find them either because they wondered off or I didn't realize they were standing right behind me so I couldn't see them, I understand the panic and worry that he must have been going through. He loved to spend time with us. I love that because of his financial situation, simplicity in life was a necessity. One of our favorite things to do was to go walk around stores. Especially the grand opening of a store. We never bought anything at these stores, just walked around and looked at everything. We also loved to walk along the Provo river trail. Once in awhile the blackberry bushes would have ripe berries on them and we would pick the berries and eat them. As we walked along the trail my dad would grab the hand of whoever was next to him and start skipping. Pretty soon there was a line of Kent's skipping along the trail. If we were really lucky, after our walk we would go to Macey's grocery store and get an ice cream cone. Even if we didn't get ice cream, we all loved going on a walk. My dad had put a swing on one of the huge trees in our yard and I loved when he would come outside and push me on the swing. My older brothers loved baseball and had worn a diamond into the grass of our yard. Sometimes dad would play baseball with us and stop during the game to push someone on the swing and then come back and play baseball until someone else asked for a push on the swing. I love knowing that my dad loved his kids and cherished my mom. There were a lot of nights that he would walk into the living room to where my mom was sitting in her chair reading. Dad would take mom by the hand and pull her to her feet. He would turn on the music and would dance with her. I don't remember a time that my dad didn't kiss my mom when he greeted her. He may not have agreed with her all the time, but I'll never know if he didn't because he never undermined her. If we asked mom something and didn't like her answer and asked dad the same thing he would say something like, "What did mumma say?" or, "Listen to mumma." When he was talking to us about her, he always called her mumma. He never called mom by her first name. She was always referred to as honey or sweetheart. He opened her car door as she got in and he wanted her to stay in the car until he walked around and opened it for her when we got to wherever it was we were going. My dad was not a yeller. I don't remember him ever raising his voice at me or anyone else. You knew if he wasn't happy with you because he would raise his arms to the side, shake his head, sigh and walk away. I hated that! I always felt like I was an inch tall and hated that I had disappointed him. My dad was mostly happy and at the end of a good laugh, as his smile was fading he would say,"so." If you know him you know exactly what I'm talking about. My dad is such a good guy and had about one million cheesy jokes. Once in awhile one of us would tell him an inappropriate joke and if my mom was around he would try to hide his smile, but he couldn't always do it. Sometimes he would pull us aside to tell us a joke that he knew that my mom would not approve of. Even if you didn't like the joke, you liked that dad had this secret side of him so you laughed anyway. He loved to walk up to strangers, especially little kids and ask them if they knew they had 11 fingers. Of course they would look at him weird and then look down at their hands. He would have them put their hands out in front of them and would count the five fingers on one hand. Then on the other hand he would count backwards from ten. So, it sounded like this,"one, two, three, four, five, ten, nine, eight, seven, six. Six plus five is 11 so, you must have 11 fingers!" Everyone loved that one. He could take off his fingers and he could turn his arm to rubber and stretch it so that when he stood a few inches away from a wall, he could pull on his arm until it stretched to touch the wall without moving his feet. He loved to tell his grand kids that his  teeth were like stars, they came out at night. He was the best fe-fi-fo-fummer in the world. I can hear him saying it in my mind and to this day it still fills me with anxious excitement. It makes me want to run to my bed and pull the covers up over my head. I love him so much and can't believe that he's really gone. I can imagine him in heaven walking around talking to everyone and being a powerhouse missionary. My heart breaks for my mom and the years that she has ahead of her. I am so thankful for the gospel and that I know that I'll see my dad again. I am so happy for him to be out of pain and to be healthy again. I miss him a lot and to be at my mom's house and not see dad there didn't feel right. I know time will make us all get used to the idea that he's gone, but right now it hurts pretty bad. I am so thankful for all that he taught me and I'm so thankful that I get to call this giant of a man my dad.